Do you hear that whizzing and whirring sound? It’s coming from my brain. The cogs and gears are spinning like mad, trying to find a little common sense in a recent legislative proposal from two odd political bedfellows, Democrat Barbara Mikulski of Delaware and Republican Kit Bond of Missouri.

The not-so-dynamic Senatorial duo are backing a “pro-auto” plan so incredibly bass-ackwards that it seems to completely fly in the face of all things logical.

I heard about it while driving my used automobile the other day. A local station was interviewing Bond, who was expressing his belief in the need to protect the U.S. auto industry. After all of the usual and overused cliches (think: “Main Street, USA”, for instance) Bond talked about how we should provide new car buyers with a tax rebate to reduce the real cost of purchasing vehicles made in Detroit. This would increase sales, thus helping the car manufacturers and reducing the risk of whatever madness might ensue if the Big 3 might actually be held accountable for their own mismanagement.

This is perhaps the silliest plan in the recent history of silly plans.

This little chunk of legislative insanity has somehow shifted the cosmic balance to the point where I, for the very first time ever, am actually agreeing with Michelle Malkin about something. You may not understand how bizarre that it unless you know me, but rest assured it’s downright freaky.

When you can get me and Malkin to concur that your plan is bad, it is most definitely Very Bad.

The portion of Malkin’s assessment with which I agree reads like this:

“Spending beyond our means is what got this country into trouble in this first place. This kind of temporary political gimmickry is going to exacerbate the problem. Encouraging people to take out $50,000 car loans before the end of the year when they should be saving their money instead?”

Bingo. We’re living through the aftermath of overspending and living too high on credit right now and Mikulski/Bond are pushing a plan that’s actually designed to persuade people like you and me to make horrible investment decisions.

New cars are probably the most notorious of all bad personal finance decisions. Your new car depreciates in value the second you turn the ignition key and its value continues to slide with every subsequent mile you drive. Cars even make Mint’s list of the “Eight Things You Should Not Buy New”.

Moneyweb sums up exactly why no one should buy a new car:

“Tony Twine, director and senior economist at Econometrix, describes the life cycle of a car: ‘During the first year, the value of the car decreases at a steep rate. For the next four years, the car depreciates at a more gentle, slower pace, with a further step down in value in the sixth year. Beyond this, the value of the rate of depreciation flattens out.’

Borrowing money to purchase a depreciating asset is the worst ‘investment’ you can make. Sages say: ‘Buy things that appreciate and pay for the use of the things that depreciate.’”

Yet Mikulski and Bond have somehow forged a bi-partisan love connection over the idea of encouraging their constituents to go out and make stupid purchases that will cause them eventual financial heartbreak in order to keep the Big 3 limping along. Making it even uglier is the fact that this “bad investment incentive” is targeted to working- and middle-class people (the proposed legislation doesn’t extend the rebate to those making in excess of $250,000 per year, the only people who might have enough cushion to justify new car buys).

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not happy that Detroit is in trouble and I certainly hope there’s some way for the automobile industry to stabilize in order to prevent the nasty repercussions that could come from any sort of collapse. However, I don’t like the idea of encouraging unnecessary and financially foolish purchases on the part of the same taxpayers who’ll probably end up footing the tax bill for an additional bailout package.

The whirring in my noggin continues.