Are you a lefty? Have you toiled for years in a right-handed world? Have you suffered the annoyance of having a limited number of golf club options at your disposal? Have you dealt with the oppression of computer labs PC with the mice on the right side?

For a while, you had a chance to even the score by becoming a left-handed pitcher. Major league baseball teams were always in need of a left-handed specialist and were willing to pay through the nose to keep otherwise mediocre hurlers on the roster just because they could deal from the left side. That was your vengeance.

But then the recession left Dennys Reyes without a team until late this spring. Long-term deals for LOOGYs screeched to a halt. Jeremy Affeldt’s $8 million dollar contract over two years was the end of an era.

Lefties are back to being second class citizens everywhere.

Well, almost everywhere.

A small liberal arts college in Pennsylvania is the one place where left-handedness can pay off. Juniata College offers a scholarship grant for one lucky lefty every year. That’s right, it’s the home of the now-famous scholarship for southpaws.

You may have heard about scholarships for left handed people. That’s inaccurate, unless you count the multiple years over which the Juniata giveaway has occurred. Based on all available research, there is only one left handed scholarship.

Here’s an overview:

Juniata offers southpaws of free educational grant through The Frederick and Mary F Buckley Scholarship program. This program was established in 1979 by Mary Francis Buckley. Since then, it has helped and sent over 40 students to school.

The scholarship is worth around a grand. It’s only available to those who’ve already been enrolled at Juniata for a year. Oh, and being a lefty isn’t enough to score the deal.

Apparently, the selection committee looks at things like grades, leadership skills and all that other “regular” stuff as well as the dominant hand of the applicant. Nonetheless, it does remove 90% of the potential scholarship competition, as right-handers are out of the equation (apparently, only 1 in 10 people are left handed).

Alas, dear southpaws, no other schools seem to be embracing the Juniata model. There are no other known scholarships for left handed people. And for all we know, there’s a growing backlash movement at Juniata amongst righties who feel slighted by this act of educational affirmative action. Where are the scholarships for righties, huh?

The interesting thing about the Juniata deal, which is just one of thousands of interesting little scholarships, is the fact that it’s received so much attention. It’s become the child of the wacky scholarship world and the fact that it is so frequently mentioned has led many to wonder about left handed scholarships elsewhere. They don’t exist. It’s all just Juniata echo.

If you’re a lefty and you’re enrolled at Juniata, consider making a move for the money in your sophomore year. Why not?

If you’re lefty who’s looking for ways to trim the cost of a higher education at some other institution of higher learning, however, I’m afraid that the rumors of scholarships for left handed people are just another case of a right handed culture keeping you down!

In the meantime, you still have Rick Honeycutt and Jeremy Affeldt to whom you can look up. Write them fan letters. Just don’t use one of those spiral bound notebooks designed for right handers.