There’s nothing I like better than settling in on the sofa to watch television after a big, meaty dinner.  I know that it’s trendy, hip, and cool in that “subversive, I’m above it all” kind of way to hate TV, but I just can’t play that game.  I should get a bumper sticker that says “you can have my remote when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers”.

Unfortunately, all of that quality programming I love so much comes with a price tag.  And, to be honest, the number on the bill can be a little annoying.  Cable ain’t cheap, especially if you feel the need to have a wide assortment of viewing options.  When a TV freak like me is wondering how to save money on cable television you know that it’s getting a little costly.

So, I thought I’d share a few ways to keep that magical thing called cable in your life without having your favorite show interrupted by calls from collection agencies.  Here are a few ways you can cut that cable bill down to size.

Note that this is all about reducing your bill, not eliminating it.  There are those who consider cutting the cord that connects the boob tube to the cable company.  That would be cheap, but I couldn’t handle it.  Others say you could just watch TV via your computer for free, but my experiments in that department haven’t been rewarding enough to justify eliminating cable.  

I don’t want to live without cable.  I just think we can do it for less.  Here’s how.

BUNDLE UP.  These days, the cable company is also your Internet service provider and your phone company.  At least that option is available to many of us.  If you aren’t bundling services, you probably should be.  It’s a good way to save money.

WATCH WHAT YOU WATCH.  You have the Diamond-Studded Platinum Package with 8,442 channels (not counting the digital music offerings) and it costs almost as much as a car payment.  Maybe, just maybe, you don’t need every programming tier to which you’re currently subscribing.  Pay attention to which channels you’re actualy watching and determine if you can downgrade to the regular Platinum package.  Or the Gold.  Maybe even the Silver.  Some of you might be able to tolerate Bronze or the (scary for me to even think about) Basic option.  

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE, MAYBE.  You might be able to cut a few bucks off the bill by asking the cable company to charge you less.  Seriously.  You never know.  It’s worked before.  Even if they won’t do it out of the goodness of their entertainment-providing hearts, they might have some kind of promo going that will allow you to save a few bucks by making an adjustment to your subscription options.

MAKE THE (UN)VEILED THREAT.  Call your provider and tell them about the great new customer special the competition is running.  There’s usually a provider out there who’s offering free installation and a special rate.  Sometimes, their even willing to toss in a free month or two.  Tell your guys that you’re thinking about the switcheroo but you wondered what they might be able to do in order to keep you on their customer roster.  They might just come up with something.  When I decided to drop my dish service for cable (bundled with Internet), the dish people went wild with insanely good offers in a last-ditch effort to keep me.  

I’D RATHER SWITCH THAN FIGHT.  Sometimes, you’ll run into a deal so good that it makes sense to drop your existing provider for someone else.  Learning the new remote and sending back the old equipment will be a pain in the backside, but it can be a good way to save money.  When those conditions exist it really increases the power of the threat strategy, too.

GO TO RADIO SHACK.  While you’re there, buy a $2 splitter,  some extra coaxial cable and a few cable tips.  Late at night, sneak over to your neighbors house and cut their line.  Then…  JUST KIDDING.  Cable is great, but it isn’t worth the humiliation or possible legal repercussions associated with stealing a signal.

Look, if you’re going to keep cable you’re going to spend money.  It’s probably going to be a little more money than you really want to spend.  That’s the reality of staying entertained.  Nonetheless, you can do a few things to keep your expenses down.  There’s no reason to burn more cash than necessary.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s an old episode of The Rockford Files starting in a few minutes…