We might as well dive right in by explaining what this alleged online auction site is really all about.  They auction really nice, genuine, name-brand consumer electronics, appliances and other high-demand items.  It’s operated on a pay per bid system.  You buy your bids for $.60 each.  They’re worth $.12 cents in terms of boosting the auction price.  I know.  That sounds confusing.  It’s really not.  We’ll let Swoopo explain:

Here is how it works: our online customers buy “bids” in advance. They cost $0.60 each and are sold in packs of 40, 75, 150, 400 or 1000. Bidders have the choice of placing single bids, or, using an electronic bid assistant called the “BidButler”.
Every bid placed, increases the price of the product by 12c and the auction countdown by up to 20 seconds. To help keep track of the money spent on bidding, each auction displays the amount spent on bids by the customer and how much the bidder would save overall, if they won the auction at that moment.
The ‘last bidder standing’ when the countdown reaches zero, wins the auction – usually at a very low price; winners save, on average, 65% when compared to the recommended retail price.
In December 2007, Swoopo was successfully launched in the UK, followed by Spain in May 2008 and the US and Austria in September 2008. Swoopo has launched Canada in June 2009, more countries are going to be added in the future.

So, what’s wrong with all of this?  You can conceivably pay a few bucks in bids and end up with a great retail item for pennies on the dollar, right?  Absolutely.

That’s why Swoopo isn’t a scam, per se.  It delivers on its promise.  You bid.  If you win, you get the item.  Even CashMoneyLife, who is very critical of Swoopo concedes that it’s not an outright scam.  The combined cost of your bids may be a very small percentage of the value of the item under consideration.

Swoopo pulls it off profitably because it’s collecting all of those other $.60 bids that only juiced the item’s price tag by $.12.  Remember, if you bid on Swoopo and you LOSE, you really do lose.  Your bids go into the Swoopo coffers, not back to you.

Thus, Swoopo rakes in enough dough to cover the purchase price of the auctioned item.  The cumulative amount of money spent on the bidding process can represent several times the actual retail value of the item.

Ben Hollis broke it down on an “auction” for a shiny new iMac.  The conclusion?   An item worth approximately $1,400 went for only $365.  Swoopo collected $9,800 in the auction!

So, what’s wrong with that?  People played the game.  Some lost.  One won.  Swoopo makes a profit for providing the playing field.  In the immortal words of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

Well, there may be nothing wrong with it in that sense.  There are potential legal problems stemming from the fact that the process eventually turns out to be little more than a dressed up lottery, but that’s a legal issue stemming from gambling regulation.  It isn’t prima facie evidence of pure evil.

Or is it?  I guess that depends on your perspective.  There are those who will undoubtedly wag a finger at Swoopo for taking advantage of the frailties of human psychology to generate a profit.  There are those who will be disgusted by Swoopo’s effort to appear like a “new and improved” version of a legitimate online auction service.  There will even be those who don’t really buy into capitalism with a Milton Friedman-like furor who will be upset by the fact that Swoopo may be generating such a huge profit margin on some of its “auctions.”

Personally, I’d stay away.  You won’t find David Lampsen bidding on Swoopo.  Ain’t gonna happen.  Then again, you don’t see me lining up at the convenience store on the day of big Powerball drawings stuffing my pockets with tickets.  If you like lotteries, you’ll love Swooopo.  If you’d prefer to manage your money with a bit more wisdom, you’ll stay the hell away!

While looking into Swoopo, I found a number of extremely interesting assessments of what they’re doing and how they’re doing it.  If you find the whole thing as fascinating as I do, you’ll want to read these:

• Jonah Lehrer has an ubelievably cool piece about the psychology of Swoopo at Frontal Cortex.  If you only read one article about why people gravitate to the site, make it this one.
• Jeff Atwood’s oft-cited assessment of Swoopo at Coding Horror lays the groundwork for why the auctions are really nothing more than mini-lotteries.  It also contains a perfectly apt Wargames reference for those who remember Dr. Falken.
• Ian Ayres’ contribution to the world of Swoopo analysis at The New York Times “Freakonomics” blog is outstanding.  It explains why this weirdness produces the kind of results it does in a very accessible way.

Here are 5 of my favorites…

DUCT TAPE PROM: If you and your date are willing to attend your prom wearing nothing but duct tape, you can document your questionable fashion taste and qualify to pursue two $3,000 scholarhsips from the makers of Duck Tap brand duct tape. Back in my day, we rented the cheapest tuxes we could, because we had to pay that one creepy guy with the Camaro a lot of cash to buy our booze. Oh, how times have changed…

JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES: You’ve seen Caddyshack, right? Of course you have. Be the ball. The gopher. The Baby Ruth in the pool. And, of course, the scholarship competition. The Evans Scholars Foundation hands out schoool money for those who thanklessly tote the bags of duffers. I can hear the Kenny Loggins music already. Apparently, this is serious scholarship and is very highly-regarded. At least that’s what Ted Knight told me.

COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY: We all know that those sci-fi geeks from high school go on to get free rides in the engineering departments of the very best colleges. It’s their revenge for all the crap with which they have to put up. That and the fact that geekiness is sort of becoming cool these days. In any case, it seems wholly unnecessary to give anyone who self-identifies as a “Starfleet member” extra money for school. But it happens. The Star Trek super fans can qualify for $500 scholarships. Live long and prosper.

SOUTHPAW PAYOFF: We wrote about this one a few days back, but it’s so good that it warrants inclusion on this list, too. Juniata College allows students who’ve been there for a year and who are left-handed to apply for a $1,000 scholarship. Not just any lefty will get the money. You need to be a good student and all that jazz. However, this is the one and only scholarship for the left handed!

KNITTING YOUR WAY TO COLLEGE: The American Sheep Industry Association wants to encourage folks to produce the best-looking wool garments possible. And they’re willing to dole out scholarship money for those who knit them. My granny would’ve had three PhD’s if she had known about this one–and I have the scarves to prove it.

These are only the tip of the iceberg. There are scholarships reserved exclusively for those with certain surnames. Every interest group from the NRA to Tall Club International is interested in funding the higher education of its members and their children. There are scholarships for out of the ordinary hobbies like duck calling and alternative lifestyles like nudism.

They’re all good for a laugh, but these wacky scholarships can also be a reminder that there may be more money out there for you to fund your college education than you realize. Hey, if someone is ready to give you school money for creating a gown out of duct tape or because your mom is a member of the Michigan Llama Association, there’s a good chance that you qualify for one or more scholarships that might not be as obvious as those based on athletic prowess or high SAT scores.

For a while, you had a chance to even the score by becoming a left-handed pitcher. Major league baseball teams were always in need of a left-handed specialist and were willing to pay through the nose to keep otherwise mediocre hurlers on the roster just because they could deal from the left side. That was your vengeance.

But then the recession left Dennys Reyes without a team until late this spring. Long-term deals for LOOGYs screeched to a halt. Jeremy Affeldt’s $8 million dollar contract over two years was the end of an era.

Lefties are back to being second class citizens everywhere.

Well, almost everywhere.

A small liberal arts college in Pennsylvania is the one place where left-handedness can pay off. Juniata College offers a scholarship grant for one lucky lefty every year. That’s right, it’s the home of the now-famous scholarship for southpaws.

You may have heard about scholarships for left handed people. That’s inaccurate, unless you count the multiple years over which the Juniata giveaway has occurred. Based on all available research, there is only one left handed scholarship.

Here’s an overview:

Juniata offers southpaws of free educational grant through The Frederick and Mary F Buckley Scholarship program. This program was established in 1979 by Mary Francis Buckley. Since then, it has helped and sent over 40 students to school.

The scholarship is worth around a grand. It’s only available to those who’ve already been enrolled at Juniata for a year. Oh, and being a lefty isn’t enough to score the deal.

Apparently, the selection committee looks at things like grades, leadership skills and all that other “regular” stuff as well as the dominant hand of the applicant. Nonetheless, it does remove 90% of the potential scholarship competition, as right-handers are out of the equation (apparently, only 1 in 10 people are left handed).

Alas, dear southpaws, no other schools seem to be embracing the Juniata model. There are no other known scholarships for left handed people. And for all we know, there’s a growing backlash movement at Juniata amongst righties who feel slighted by this act of educational affirmative action. Where are the scholarships for righties, huh?

The interesting thing about the Juniata deal, which is just one of thousands of interesting little scholarships, is the fact that it’s received so much attention. It’s become the child of the wacky scholarship world and the fact that it is so frequently mentioned has led many to wonder about left handed scholarships elsewhere. They don’t exist. It’s all just Juniata echo.

If you’re a lefty and you’re enrolled at Juniata, consider making a move for the money in your sophomore year. Why not?

If you’re lefty who’s looking for ways to trim the cost of a higher education at some other institution of higher learning, however, I’m afraid that the rumors of scholarships for left handed people are just another case of a right handed culture keeping you down!

In the meantime, you still have Rick Honeycutt and Jeremy Affeldt to whom you can look up. Write them fan letters. Just don’t use one of those spiral bound notebooks designed for right handers.

I think they were really trying to say that wreath making is a little to frilly for the guys… but it is ok.  My feelings are not hurt.  I won’t push the issue.  I’ll let them be free to more manly things like scratch, belch and watch the Hornets vs. the Rockets… while I collaborate with a six year old to make the best door wreath on this side of town.

So this morning my daughter and I sat down to make our wreath.  But we hit a little stumbling block… I know nothing about making a wreath and the closest she’s come to making one was a paper cut out in school.

Needless to say, we’ve got a bit of a learning curve to overcome.  And we need to overcome it really fast.  Thanksgiving is only two weeks away and we have a lot to do. One – we need to get a quick lesson in wreath making 101. Two – we have to plan a design for our wreath. Three – we have to get the materials. Four – we have to put it all together.

Though we have a lot to do… I do not feel pressured.  We move fast. A quick 4 minute tutorial on wreath making… Goal one accomplished!  Thanks to Better Homes and Gardens, we’ve got our design idea… Goal two accomplished!

Now on to goal three… gathering the supplies.  Rated by Vickie as one of the best arts and crafts stores around, A.C. Moore is a wreath maker’s dream.  I also like A. C. Moore.  I happened upon one a few years ago when I was on vacation in Florida.  The store is huge and has everything I need to complete my artsy projects.  But… there are none in my area.  However, I can order all of my supplies from A.C. Moore online.  And right now… they have some great deals:

- Free shipping on orders $35 or more, now through December 30^th

- Sign up for A.C. Moore emails and be entered into a weekly drawing for  one of four $250 gift cards, sweepstakes expires on December 15^th

- Be the first to find out about A.C. Moore specials on this forum

- Look here to find weekly coupons and specials at your local A.C. Moore location

- Sign up for the A.C. Moore rewards card and earn points that can be redeemed for gift certificates

- Click here for printable A.C. Moore coupons

- Enter the Naturally Baby contest to win a $300 A.C. Moore gift certificate, contest ends December 1^st

- Sign your kids up for the Birthday Club and they will get a $5 gift certificate on their birthday

Winning a large sum of money (such as a million dollars in a Monopoly game) is a one in a million chance.  (One in a million… get it?  Sometimes I just crack my self up. ~~ Alright maybe I am no comedian, but I thought it was funny.) Anyway on occasion, it has been known to happen.  Someone’s got to win the grand prize, right?

Sigh!  This is me exhaling as I fantasize about all the things I could do with a million dollars.  I have always wanted to vacation in Morocco and take cooking lessons in France.  A million dollars would sure help me live out those dreams.  If only I were so lucky as to been given a million dollars.

But the weird thing about winning it big… apparently it is not all that its cracked up to be.  I’ve heard stories about folks who won grandiose gifts, but are now destitute.  But how could that be?

Well it is simple.  We all know what money is… but we all don’t know what to do with it.  Take this analogy for example…  I know what an airplane looks like and what it is used for.  I have even been a passenger in one a time or two.  But just because I’ve flown in a plane… does not mean I know how to fly a plane.

Same principle applies with money.  We all know how to spend it.  But there is a lot more to money than spending it.  Winning a truckload of money can be useless, even harmful… unless you know what to do with it.

So what would I do if I won a million dollars?  Well fat chance that’ll ever happen because I am not the gambling type and I rarely play these sweeps-type games.  But just in case… if by some miracle a million dollars showed up at my front door… I figure I ought to have a plan.   I don’t have all the details hatched out just yet. But I sure know two things that I would not do.

1 – I would not quit my day job.

Although rolling off my tongue, a million sounds like a lot… in actuality, it is not much at all.  And plus, once Uncle Sam gets his take, I’d be fortunate to be left with $400,000.  But don’t get me wring, I am not complaining.  I’d still be very grateful… it is $400,000 more than I had yesterday.

2 – I would not tell my family or friends.

Bad as it may sound… sorry, nope, ain’t doing it.  I think discussing your personal financial situation with others leads to problems.  It can lead to envy and jealousy.  And it can lead to abuse… not physical abuse, but more psychological and financial abuse.  Every Tom, Dick and Harry will likely come with their sob story and ask for a hand out.  Now granted, you hadn’t seen Tom, Dick or Harry since kindergarten, but now they are the now your best friends.  When you have money, it is hard to know who to trust.

I am not saying that you should not be charitable, but do keep in mind that you are not a charity.  And you can’t save the world.  If you bailed everybody out of their financial woes, you yourself will soon be in financial woe of your own.