In this corner…

Standing 6′0, weighing 180 pounds, Queens, New York born and bred, former street hustler, ex con, survived being shot 9 times, multiplatinum record selling rap artist, the man behind G-Unit Records, two acting credits under his belt, creator of Vitamin Water, hard abs, killa body, millionaire and entrepreneur extraordinaire, better known to the world as 50 Cent… Mr. Currrrrrrrrrtis Jackson!!!!

(crowd goes wild)

In this corner…

Born in 1962 through the ingenuity of Glen Bell, started its humble beginnings in the small town of Downey, California, sold at the tender age of 16 to Pepsi, subsidiary to Yum! Brands, holding its own with nearly six thousand locations across 4 continents, home of the Big Bell menu, sole mastermind behind the Chihuahua craze, sales in the billions, filling more than 2 million hungry bellies every year, tacos anyway you want.. sliced, diced, tethered or tossed, Mr. Thinking Outside the Bun himself, yo te quiero… Tacooooooo Belllllll!!!

(crowd goes huh?… just stick with me people, I am going somewhere with this… I think!?!)

Let’s Get Ready to Ruuuuuummmble!!!!!!!!

Announcer out…

Referee in…

Ok Mr. Cent, Mr. Bell… I want a clean fight, no hitting below the belt, holding, tripping, or biting off ear lobes. Got it? Ok, touch gloves, gentlemen and get ready to fight!

Referee out…

Commentator (me) in…

Tsk, tsk, tsk on Mr. Bell. Apparently he’s not fighting the clean fight. So now Mr. Cent is suing.

Mr. Bell made a rather simple request. He asked Mr. Cent if he would change his name to either 79, 89 or 99 Cent… (just for one day) in order to promote Mr. Bell’s new “79-89-99 Cent Why Pay More” campaign. In exchange, Mr. Bell would make a donation to a charity of Mr. Cent’s choosing.

Mr. Cent declined, citing that he has a reputation to maintain. What would the fellas in the neighborhood think if fity… fity cent, went around rapping about 99 cent tacos? I am flattered Mr. Bell, thanks, but no thanks… it ain’t happening.

According to the federal suit Mr. Cent filed on Wednesday, Mr. Bell would not take no for an answer and ran the ads starring a 50 Cent imitator. Mr. Cent claims that he image was stolen without his permission… and to top it off, he was neither compensated nor was a donation made to a charity on his behalf.

Commentator out…

Referee in…

10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Mr. Bell is out for the count.

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